


Crave

by smutpeddler



Series: SVU A/Us, randoms, and drabbles [1]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M, Pre-smut, never been the clothes a/u, split POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2018-07-10 21:58:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7009834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smutpeddler/pseuds/smutpeddler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Crave for a thing, you will get it. Renounce the craving, the object will follow you by itself."<br/>- Swami Sivanadana<br/>Never Been The Clothes A/U</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crave

The cab is quiet. Virginia can feel the tequila swirling in her system, the very overwhelming urge for a cigarette, and the emptiness of the backseat. Were she strong than whatever animal instinct was running through her it wouldn't bother her. If she was stronger than the loneliness that seemed to curl in around her very being. She wanted him with her, there was no second guessing that. But she had to make the right decision and with the dapper ADA beside her waiting another almost month seemed a better idea than making the wrong decision. Loneliness was better than taking the wrong step.  
****  
The walk back to his apartment is longer than he remembers, whether it's because of tequila or second guessing, Rafael can't be sure. He just knows the silence is suffocating and he can't stop picturing the confidence plastered on his companions face. A confidence he knew well, that he had, and that had completely disappeared in her prescence. He truly believed that thinking back on it would make him uncomfortable, upset, because he hadn't been himself. But all he could manage was how the thought of not being the Assistant District Attorney but just a nervous man on a kind of date with an intriguing woman was such an intoxicating feeling.  
***  
The driver doesn't give her a second thought after payment, she sits on the steps of the brownstone. Pulling the ash tray from its' hidden place beneath the thorny bush and with familiarity she puts the tanned, mangled, slightly dented filter to her lips on the edge of that abandoned building. Not once did Virginia think of the loneliness that lay beyond the big, oak doors. She simply thought of Rafael and the way his fingers twisted the ends of her hair, with such carefulness to avoid their flesh meeting, with very few failures. Whether it brought him great pain or unnecessary pleasure, the smoking woman couldn't be sure, she hoped it was the latter but by the aggressive way she stubbed out one cigarette and quickly lit the second one she really, truly could not be sure.  
***  
His apartment is empty. It's always empty. But tonight it feels emptier than usual. Rafael had always thought emptiness would be suffocating, akin to lonliness. But it's not. He just feels especially small, deflated, with just a hint of regret. If he'd invited her back, she'd fill every nook and cranny in the place. There was a prescence around her something inviting and sorely missed once you stepped from its grasp. He doesn't hang his coat, something something he might regret later, he simply wants a glass of scotch and to fall asleep. Fall back into the all-consuming hold that was his job. But not tonight, tonight he'll finish being rid of it all and brood in the way a man does about woman.  
***  
It's hard stepping through the doors. She hasn't been here in months, thankfully the maid had. But it was as if everything was frozen in that moment. The moment everything in her life changed. It would be easy to fall into that hole, tequila was definitely the best lubricant for it. But she doesn't let herself, instead she switches on the sitting room light and thinks of how these moments had lead to the ones she's just left. Left because of this empty house, with it's big lofty rooms, and whatever memory she thought she had been hiding from at her mother's. Like always, Virginia found herself passing up beautiful moments in favor of painful memories.  
****  
The phone stares at him from it's home on the side table. It's different from before. This time, he knows he doesn't have the will to call and he won't even pretend to fight with himself. He was relaxed, he hadn't stopped being Rafael Barba, he knew when he was on the losing end of an argument. So he wormed around it, slid in one flimsy excuse or another and thoughtful sipped his extra-large scotch. Replaying the night in surprisingly vivid detail, every visible bit of ink on her skin burned into his mind. What did they look like, the lines that disappeared beneath her dress? What whimsical artwork lay just beneath the fabric? He sighs, cursing at himself in in a way he hadn't since college and leaned forward. Elbow on his knees, rolling his lip between his teeth, with the inevitable emotion of thinking.  
****  
It took no time to make a drink from the liquor cabinet or abandon her outfit in place of her house robe. What seemed to take longer was how she felt about this whole situation. It had been to long since she'd last been here, longer since the catalyst began its hike upwards. What about happiness felt so wrong? It was clear that wasn’t. It's what happiness implied, the step that would be taken. Starting all over wasn't an easy feat but at some point didn't it have to be done? And was it so wrong? The phone stares at her, encouraging her. It'd be so easy, she was the one making it hard.  
****  
The echo of his text tone going off is deafening, Rafael's almost scared to look. Almost. 4 minute pick ups in your area. It's not what he'd expected nor what he'd really hoped. But he finds himself unable to come up with a reason not too. There's a sense of safety in that awkward fellow he turns into when she surrounds him. But Rafael doesn't know what to type. Or say. The address slides in underneath. He doesn't doesn't let himself think, just books the uber, uses the app to send his eta because because he doesn't know if he can bring himself to text it himself without losing all his nerve.  
****  
She doesn't think of anything except calming her nerves, sitting there, the satin robe and her lack of attire doing nothing against the cold. The cigarette shakes in her fingers, her lips quiver when she drags it, the cold might be a factor but she's more than sure it's all andrenaline. The ghosts beyond that heavy door seemed to disappear. This is real, this was here and now. It's sobering in a way but the thought of him, in this way that seems almost unbelievable, is like 100 proof whiskey in her brain. She's anxious, worried, and dizzy with excitement -and tequila.  
****  
The car turns, slows, the GPS loudly announcing they had approached their destination in the left. He climbs out quickly with happy confusion and uncertainty. With everything he feels when she surrounds him and even if it sounds crazy, he could feel her. So close. He spins, simple as that. And there she is. Passed the gate, at the end of a cobblestone path, she doesn’t see him but he sure as hell sees her. Legs folded on the step below the one she's sitting on, the Japanese style robe riding high and exposing more lines on her legs, he can see the ember shaking as she smokes. She's just as nervous and it calms him a little. Only a little.  
****  
Virginia is familiar with the bodily reactions she had to being watched, observed, even when she didn't know it. The prickly on the back of her neck, the way goosebumps rose but only on her legs, with an ever shaky hand she stubs out the cigarette and looks up. And there he is, sans tie and with unreadable green eyes. She she steps backwards up the stairs, fumbling with the door handle behind her back and stepping inside. He doesn't move, just stairs. Knees shake, her breath started to come in pants. She tugs the end of the band holding her robe closed around her body. The loops disappear, it's just tightened satin around her stomache. Still he doesn't move, his eyes a mystery and it's exhilirating. There's the urge to call, to beckon him inside with sweet words instead she spins on her feet, abandoning the open door.  
****  
The clearest invitation.  
_Come in._

**Author's Note:**

> 5/23/18 UPDATE: I have removed this from the series as I have been re-reading after a break and I've decided I wanted the story to go a little bit differently. The story will stay up in another category and may be continued if I get the inspiration. I apologize if you were excited for this road, I just wanted to do something a little different after returning from an unplanned hiatus!  
> This was a long time coming. I had wanted to have this be a smut chapter but it got away from me. So it's build up and foreplay for the reader.  
> The next one should get out quicker.


End file.
